I’ve said it many times, but I want to be on record here as well – I AM FOR COUNSELING. Really. I don’t get people’s resistance to counseling. When our cars break down we take them to a mechanic, when our bodies aren’t functioning right we go see a doctor, when we’ve sprung a leak in the house, we call a plumber. But when it comes to our emotional/psychological/mental/or thought life needing a diagnosis or tune up we all of a sudden resist the idea of seeing a counselor.
Kelly and I have been to counseling several times in the course of our marriage (and I highly recommend it). All three of my kids have seen a counselor at some point in their lives (hey…when they have my genetic linkage there are going to be issues!).
BUT…counseling should never be an ad nauseam experience. You wouldn’t hire a contractor to work on your house and have no end vision/goal with stated deadlines. I don’t get on-going counseling that has no end vision/goal in mind and that doesn’t have deadlines attached. I’ve seen people see a counselor weekly for years and it doesn’t seem to have made any difference in their life at all. This to me seems insane (or maybe that’s the issue).
I think you have to go through the important work of understanding family systems, certain dysfunctional proclivities, finding explanation to patterns of behavior and the why and hows of where they came from. But after the self-discovery and tools and resources to “manage” or “eliminate” the dysfunctions…what other counsel is needed other than – “stop it!”
I saw this video clip on Michael Hyatt’s blog (michaelhyatt.com) and thought it was funny, but also, very appropriate at times in the counseling situation.