Captain America Should be Demoted

I took my sons to see Captain America 3D last night.  At least we had Outback Cheese Fries before we went.  I think the Captain should be demoted to a Private.  Caleb, who had seen the movie earlier tried to warn us.  My opinion:  if you want to watch it, do so when it comes out on DVD.  If you go now, don’t waste your money on 3D.  Clearly wasn’t filmed with the intention of being 3D.  The result:  lame 3D effects and darker picture (thanks to the glasses).  Captain America is cheesy.  And I don’t mean cheesy deliciousness…I mean cheesy stupid.

Mel What Happened?

Mel – dude – you know I’ve been for you.  Not because of Mad Max but more for that Braveheart movie that happens to be my favorite.  You’ve had some bumps and bruises over the past few years.  I’ve been rooting for you; trying to give you the benefit of the doubt; and expecting your comeback in redemption.

But I listened to those tape recordings of you talking to the mother of your child!!!  Oh my goodness man…what in the world could you possibly have been thinking!!!!  Please tell me they are doctored.  Tell me some how they have been manipulated and it isn’t true.  Because if it is…dude…it’s bad.

Movie Review: Clash of the Titans

Kelly and I took the boys last Friday to see Clash of the Titans in 3D.

Hated it.

First, if you do decide to see this movie – DON’T SEE IT IN 3D!!!  It was blurry, cloudy, and miserable to watch.  It made the effects look lame, action scenes were undefined.  It was really bad.  Only after seeing the movie did a read a review in the paper (which also said the movie stunk) that mentioned it was not filmed for 3D and only later was converted into a 3D formatting…which was terrible!

Second, the script was lousy.  Everyone in my family was bored in major sections of the movie.  The boys were disappointed in the hype about the Kraken being released and the pathetic let down of its demise.

Third, wasn’t overly impressed with the acting either.

I wish the Kraken would have won, wiped out everybody, and ended this movie before it even began.

The 1983 version with Harry Hamlin was SO much better.

Movie Review: The Edge of Darkness

I begin with this:  I think Mel Gibson would do well to get some therapy to maybe unearth some of the reasons why he is drawn to these storylines.

It is a good movie.  It isn’t a happy movie.  And it doesn’t end with everything neatly tied up and resolved.  It ends, with a lot of death, destruction, and drama.  If you are in that kind of a mood…this will be perfect!

Movie Review: Book of Eli

I’m not going to say ONE thing about this movie for fear that I’ll give anything away.  Whatever it is that you are doing, stop, and then go to a movie theater and watch this movie.  Right now!  Don’t bring the kids (it isn’t for them).  After you get done watching it, come and talk to me.  EXCELLENT!

Invictus

I look forward to seeing this movie!

Movie Review: New Moon

Are you serious?  Did you really think I went to see New Moon?  This is a joke.

I am not going to see New Moon.  Do you know why?  Because I have testes.

And, let me once again give a little guidance to my guy friends:

DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE OR WE WILL NO LONGER BE FRIENDS.

There are only two exceptions to this:

1.  You agreed to go with your wife because there was the promise of a “reward” (if you know what I mean) for you at the end.  In this case, we can justify it as a simple transaction based on a cost/benefit analysis for you.  Having said that, in your negotiations, you should try offering up:  a) washing the dishes; b) bathing and putting the kids to bed; or c) running to the grocery store and buying her necessary “feminine products”, etc. before agreeing to go see this movie.

2.  Your teenage daughter and her friends want to go and chaperoning this trip will lead to the language and sentiment of “my dad is a hero” in future conversations your daughter might have with a therapist or on the Oprah Winfrey’s show (which I understand to be coming to an end in 2011…just shy of the end of the world as we know (see 2012 movie review).

Movie Review: 2012

Last night in our growth group I talked about the end times (yea…about the 2nd coming of Jesus, Revelation, death, afterlife, resurrection, etc.).  I described in detail the mysteries of the end, exactly how it was going down, the date in which you could expect it to take place, and how to prepare yourself for the climactic ending.  Yea…it was that good!  I’m sorry you missed it.  If you would like a copy of my notes with these answers, just send me $29.99 and it can all by yours

Which leads me to review a movie out now called 2012.  It is about the end of the world that is supposedly going to take place on December 21, 2012.  This movie was, in a word…RIDICULOUS.

There might be something to be said for the special effects, but the overall script was LAME!! Very cheesy dialogue (e.g., a couple having problems in their relationship and just as the boyfriend says, “I feel like there is something tearing us a part” the ground opens up underneath them from an earthquake.)

It focuses on one family (John Cusack is the lead) who defies death A MILLION TIMES which is ridiculous.  I totally get the suspension of belief to move a story forward, but when it so ridiculous over and over again for 2 hours and 38  minutes (which is how long it is!) it moves from suspense and tension to slap-stick comedy.  In the end, the dialogue is full of trite and comedic statements while at the same time 6 BILLION PEOPLE ON THE PLANET EARTH PERISH!!  It is absurd.

But…my wife liked it.

New Moon Spoof

Given my distaste for all things Twilight (and no…I haven’t read the books…or seen the movie…nor will I) I give you this spoof:

Pixar’s Movie – UP

Saw Disney’s Pixar movie, UP, tonight.  BRILLIANT.  I loved it.  I think it is the best Pixar movie yet – and that is saying a lot considering the movies they have made – Finding Nemo, Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, Cars, The Incredibles, etc.  It was very funny.  But I was more impressed with the story.  It was very moving.  My kids loved the movie, but I think I enjoyed it even more.  I thought they told the story of the widower in an amazing way.  If you haven’t seen it I HIGHLY recommend it.  I give it five stars (out of four).