Declarative Statements I Hope One Day Not to Regret

Posted: April 7, 2009 in Uncategorized

I hope that the Living Stones Church never does press releases. If anything is news-worthy let others stumble upon it or discover it by word of  mouth.  Putting out a press release that praises something we’ve done is weird.

  1. Dana says:

    hmm. i don’t totally agree, but don’t disagree. certain circumstances could dictate reason to have a press release.

  2. Dana says:

    F O R – I M M E D I A T E – R E L E A S E

    The top 10 list of press releases for Living Stones Church:

    1. Sam Barrington, pastor of LSC announces his bid for Presidential Candidate, 2012.

    2. The popularity of Kids Kanyon is so widespread that campers are already lined up in tents ready to register for summer VBS 2009.

    3. The Discovery Channel expresses interest in a show dedicated to solving the mystery of the LSC baptistery.

    4. SB Police observe around the clock activity at Living Stones Church. Neighbors complain. Vampires suspected.

    5. The verdict is in: Bill Steele is superhuman.

    6. Sam Barrington announces if he isn’t elected President, he’ll become an Ultimate Fighter under the surname Sam Ishallbe.

    7. Lost remains of Jimmy Hoffa rumored to be buried under local church’s annex.

    8. Neighbors of LSC are afraid to lose their houses with rumors circulating of church expansion plans.

    9. Local church strikes it rich! Built on the largest oil reserve discovered in North America, church still focused on community outreach.

    10. Isaac Barrington, son of LSC pastor in talks with Steven Spielberg about new movie featuring Angelina Jolie and Adam Sandler.

    That’s just a few possibilities.

  3. I stand corrected. 🙂

  4. Dana says:

    (Didn’t mean to spill the presidential beans.)

  5. Jennae says:

    Dana, that was awesome!

  6. The Bishop says:

    If the 2012 political ambitions don’t work out, how about this one:

    LSC selected as site of 2012 Presidential Debate on Values. Rick Warren utters an obscenity.

  7. Ed says:

    I nominate Dana to be designated the Media Resource and News Information Director of LSC. You want to talk about getting the word out.. I don’t think press release information always needs to ne 100% accurate. After all a lot of people think The Onion is real news… just a thought.

  8. Dana says:

    accurate news is no fun…

  9. Dana says:

    think dan rather…

  10. LateniteMike says:

    I rather like: ” City of South Bends southside in Awe, take over by Local Church saves thousands. helps as many, Local officals quick to join bandwagon to save WHOLE city…. World watches…..
    news at 11………”

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