Looking Out For My Brothers

Posted: September 4, 2009 in marriage, Relationships

I was sent the following by a dude who will remain anonymous (for his protection).  But there seems to be some ancient secrets to understanding women revealed.  You’re welcome.


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying DROP DEAD!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

  1. Number 7, very true. 🙂

  2. alex says:

    “Fine” and “Nothing” cause more arguments than anything else. Ladies, if something is not “fine” then tell us. If the man can obviously tell something is not “fine” it makes a much bigger argmument if we have to probe with 20 questions to figure it out. The problem can go away faster if you tell us up-front. “Nothing” is basically the same thing. If you say “nothing” and there is obviously something, again, tell us. The argument goes a lot faster if you tell us when we ask. Open communication goes both ways. If we ask if something is wrong, answer direct and honest. Men are more open to fix something or talk about it when you tell us what is wrong, instead of “nothing” or “everything is fine”.
    There is my marriage rant for the year.

  3. the other ed says:

    I would have to add the all too familiar tenth word…silence. This unspoken word means more than all the other words together…it means, I may murder you tonite or just leave you in agonizing, soul searing pain. Just remember, women LOVE to talk, and if they aren’t talking, take cover and have 911 ready at the dial. Gotta go, the wife has called me…thankfully 😉

  4. Melissa says:

    The loud sigh also indicates a release of the pressure valve and indicates that, rather than scream at you, she’s de-escalating a little and regrouping so she can communicate at your level. It’s also used with children. (I remember my mom doing it when I was little. I hated it and vowed I would never do it. I do it.)

  5. kristi says:

    Start counting backwards from 100…it works….generally…..however if you see steam rising from the top of the head….run run fast run quick just go and dont look back

  6. Lori says:

    So… where is the like button? I can’t believe you don’t have a like button for your blog lol. This does happen to be very true, and could be useful for a lot of newlyweds.

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