Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like Talking

Posted: July 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

….but it isn’t often.  I talk all the time!  By profession I’m even getting paid to talk.

Studies show that women speak three times more words per day then men.  Clearly I was not a part of the study, or it would have skewed the results.  In my marriage, Kelly and I have it backwards.  I think I speak three times more words than Kelly.  And she isn’t quiet.  She is extroverted like me and probably speaks the normal amount of words per day for a woman.  She just happens to be married to an extra-extrovert who has a hard time shutting up.  When we did the His Needs, Her Needs Emotional Need assessment, my # 1 emotional need was conversation (to all of my guy friends who are laughing, a VERY close second was sex, so back off!  I actually tried to combine these two emotional needs at the same time but it just irritated Kelly 🙂 ).

So, when I’m not talking, everyone who knows me wonders, “What’s wrong?”  “Is Sam OK?”  Say…for example…when I don’t blog for over two months.  “Does Sam need an anti-depressant?”  “Did something happen?”  etc.

Sometimes, and it is rare, I just don’t feel like talking.  And I have no idea why.  For a good several months, I just didn’t feel like blogging.

A lot of people start blogs and after a few posts, they fade away.  They might try again a few months later, but then, once again, it fades away.  I believe the reason why is because blogging is a mindset.  For years I thought in “blog.”  Everything that happened in my life would be, “Oh that’s a blog.”  “I’m blogging that!”  Blog blog blog.  When you are in that mindset blogging is easy, fast, and enjoyable.  The moment you have to work at blogging, it is no longer fun (at least for me).  And for whatever reason, I had a season where I stopped thinking in blog.  And then I felt pressure to blog.  And it became no fun.  So I took a break.

I do think blogging is different now than when I first started.

1.  Facebook and other social medias has changed the accessibility and convenience of blogs.  Facebook provides instant thought (often too instant) on a convenient newsfeed.  Blogs don’t do that.  Unless you are checking on an RSS feeder, you actually have to go to the person’s blog, etc.  Not as convenient.

2.  Social media has reduced even more our attention span.  We aren’t interested in anything of great length (I’d be surprised if you were still with me now).  140 characters.  Our attention span is shrinking.  I can post a video on my blog, and someone will rip the link and post it on their Facebook.  Everyone sees it…but on Facebook.

3.  Blogging in some way is like feeding a monster.  If you stop blogging, people walk away.  This isn’t a criticism.  Why keep checking a blog that has been on the same stupid commercial video from Wal-Mart for over two months!!!?  “Really, two months later it is still your favorite commercial!?  Get a life dude!”  But if you want to keep people engaged with your blog, you have to post often.  I posted three times yesterday and the number of  people reading Sam I Am quadrupled from anything I had seen in months!  Feed the beast.  If not, they’ll walk away.

For whatever reason, I feel myself coming back.  My thoughts are starting to return to “Oh…that’s a blog!”  “I’m blogging that!”

  1. Jim says:

    You’re right about a blog being a beast that needs fed, and how feeding it does drive readership. When I switched to scheduled (Mon and Thurs) two-a-week posts 2 years ago, my blog really took off. But then it did become work. So I blog when I feel like it, and queue them up for weeks in advance. Everything on my blog in January-March of 2011? I wrote all of those posts the week after Christmas in a fit of blog mania. When I hit an inevitable lull, I write two paragraphs about a favorite photo. People seem to like those posts.

    I also think you’re right that social media has replaced the blog’s former use as a status update mechanism. Facebook is so much better for that. But it leaves the blog, then, as a great way to write longer-form stuff. But I still find that if I’ve written more than three or four serious posts in a row, I need to break it up with one or two short or funny posts.

  2. heatherinIN says:

    I am definitely the wordy-blogger sort, so I stayed with you the whole time. :). I decided long ago if I wanted to blog, I had better do it fo rme, and not for a following, because I offen don’t feel like blogging, so I don’t. The place where social media helps me is that I can set up Facebook notifications when I do post, so people don’t have to frequently check to see if I have posted, only to be yet again disappointed by my lackadaisical posting. And by people, I mean my mom.

  3. david says:

    WHOA, DUDE!!! Settle down. Pace yourself.
    No posts in 60 days and then 8 posts in 3+ days?!
    Ease back into it so you don’t hurt yourself.
    We’re not going anywhere. We’re still following you.
    Just be sure not to blog so much after your PROLONGED AND EXTENSIVE absence that it turns you off to blogging completely. We want to make sure that you’re around to feed us posts for the long-term. We’re only concerned about you, after all.

  4. Julia Circle says:


    Since your blogs have often helped keep things in perspective for me, (come on you all, his quirky sense of reality and justice ARE pretty funny), I have been ever faithful to your blog. Your silence was tolerated only because I knew in my soul you couldn’t keep your mouth shut forever. With God, all things are possible, except shutting up Sam!

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