The Foundation of a Marriage

Posted: January 17, 2012 in marriage, Ministry, Weddings

[This post is in a series of posting about marriage and weddings.  You can find the first two posts here & here.]

James Carville & Mary Matalin

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.    – Jesus

One of the roles a minister of the gospel should play in regards to a marriage/wedding is to help the couple lay a firm foundation for the life and home they are about to construct with one another.  This should lead to some difficult questions and a period of examination.  Who (or what) is the foundation of your marriage, home, and life?  And the two must come into agreement.  They must agree on the “blueprint” for their future life together (it is amazing to me how many couples get married and NEVER ask this question).  If they have different foundations, their “house” will not be on secure footing, and the threat of collapse is sure to follow.

And the only foundation I’m interested in helping a couple build their home on is the foundation of Jesus Christ.  And that has to mean something.  It means that BOTH of them are committed to following Jesus in the entirety of their life, and also in their marriage.  I don’t mean they can just say they are followers of Jesus – but their actions, their thoughts, their behavior, their values, and their world-view reveal that reality.  Anyone can say they want Jesus to be the foundation, but I’ve seen countless grooms & brides for the sake of appeasement say they are a “Christian” so they can avoid conflict, tension, or pause in their quest to get married.

Agreeing on Jesus as a foundation isn’t like other thoughts or opinions.  In fact, I fully expect a couple not to agree on a wide variety of things:  whether you like country music or hip hop, whether Chinese food is better than Mexican, whether you vote Republican or Democrat, whether you are into romantic comedies or action movies, whether you correctly put the toilet paper under or incorrectly under, and whether or not you believe Neil Diamond is a musical genius!

But Jesus refuses to be just another opinion among the options.  His claims are too wide-sweeping.  To have Jesus as the foundation and to commit to his way of life affects everything – time, money, raising of the kids, behaviors, thoughts, perspectives on others, etc.  It becomes the central conviction by which all other values and decisions are measured.  That is why agreement is so critical in regards to the foundation of marriage.

Further, Jesus, as the foundation of the marriage, is actually what draws the husband and wife together.  Note the diagram below and what happens relationally between a husband and wife who are moving towards God.  What happens to the distance between the husband and wife as they move closer to God?  They grow closer together.  And that is the key to a life committed “until death do us part.”  Both husband and wife in a passionate pursuit of God, and in so doing, moving closer to one another in love and peace.

And that foundation, can stand in the midst of any “storm” that comes against it!

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