Harold Camping had it all wrong. He got all complicated and tried to use numerology and other mathematical techniques, plus a heavy dosage of quackery to explain when the end of the age was about to take place.
I’ve got a far greater fool-proof way to know. It is found in the Sports section of your local paper. In it, you will discover that the PITTSBURGH PIRATES are alone in 1st place in the National League Central division on July 19th, 2011. The Pittsburgh pirates!!! The team from Pittsburgh who can’t get anyone to show to their games. THIS IS A SIGN!!! THE END IS NEAR!!! REPENT!!!
And it also highlights just how sucky the Chicago Cubs are. But I still love them (and Jesus does too). Kelly and I are going to see one, maybe two if the heat doesn’t kill us, games this week at Wrigley. But rest assured, as the game is playing, I won’t be watching the bleacher bums…I’ll be watching the horizon expecting Jesus’ return.
Sam I Am 